If being a “Procrastinator” was an actual career that paid some real moolah…..then I’d be the richest woman in the world. I might even be able to help the national debt!
The truth is, being a “Procrastinator” is NOT a paid position. It does not pay at all. It takes AWAY from one’s life.
I ask myself often “Why do you put things off so much?” “Why don’t you ACT on these ideas floating around in your head?”
In actuality, I CAN’T STAND IT when I see other people procrastinate. I hate that we humans waste so much time being stuck in our own heads. I certainly try not to verbally criticize other people for it because I’m guilty of it as well. Still, I have struggled with the “why” of it all.
WHY do I WASTE precious time?
The truth is…….I have ALWAYS known the answer to this question within myself.
I’m afraid.
I’m afraid to fail.
I’m afraid to succeed.
I’m afraid that I will look stupid.
I’m afraid that I will let other people down.
I’m afraid that I will let myself down.
I have always been a perfectionist and I cannot seem to get myself to ACT on something unless I fully understand what I’m doing, why I’m doing it and HOW to do it.
It’s funny…..(or maybe not) but I was talking to someone a couple of months ago (a family friend) and was sort of talking shop about my internet experiences. I must have been speaking jargon that they didn’t quite understand. I was probably using the lingo that anyone who has spent any time in IM knows and uses and understands.
Well…..I must have come across like some kind of expert because they were sooooo impressed by all of my “knowledge”
I was sort of taken aback and was not really sure how to respond.
So…..instead I kind of half-jokingly stated that I can’t be that much of an expert. I’m 36 years old and BANKRUPT. I have made NO MONEY with all of this supposed knowledge that I have acquired over the years.
I was actually quite embarrassed that I came off as some kind of internet marketing expert while sitting there with an empty checking account.
That is a BIG reason that I put off starting this blog for so long (as I discussed in my previous post).
I’m soooo afraid of leading people down the rosy path and then have them blame me for why they failed.
I guess that in the end it does not really matter what other people think of me, but I do like to be accountable for what I share with them.
The point is……my own failures have NOT been because I don’t have the knowledge to get the job done. I have spent years filtering through all the guru advice out there. I do have a lot to offer people in that I have done my due diligence and weeded through a lot of the garbage that is out there. I’m not suggesting that I know it all or have learned it all yet. I don’t think that you can ever stop learning, especially if your business model involves working online. The internet is a fluid, changing place and so you MUST be on your toes.
My failures are really due in large part to my own procrastination which originates from my FEAR.
I have a magnate on my refrigerator that says:
F – False
E – Evidence
A – Appearing
R – Real
I know that this fear I have is unfounded. It’s a lie that my mind tells me. It becomes just another excuse not to act on my goals.
It may not sound like it, but I’m a person of faith. A very flawed person of faith. But, I often pray that someday I will not only be financially self-sufficient, but that I can somehow be a blessing to other people out there.
I like to help people succeed. I want to help people succeed. It’s been hard to put myself out there though when I feel like a failure.
I mention the word “Distraction” in the title of my post.
Well, distraction is the method I use to procrastinate. I let so much distract me when I should be working on my goals. I do spend quite a bit of time working on my affiliate niche sites, but probably not as much as I do reading email, surfing the net, reading celebrity news, reading regular news, reading forums, learning more of what I already know and just haven’t applied yet, catching the latest episode of Days of Our Lives or General Hospital, finding some “chore” to do around the house.
I’m so darn “Afraid” and so I find 1001 other things to distract me. I might even BE at my computer “working” for 10-12 hours (not straight, I do get up and down)…….but at the end of the night, I realize that I only spent a couple of hours REALLY working on my affiliate marketing sites. I spend hours learning and re-learning what I should be DOING.
I need to buckle down and spend my hours at this computer more productively, just as if I had a boss checking up on me at one of my former jobs. Actually……I was always pretty much a model employee in the corporate world, so bosses rarely worried about me getting the job done.
It would seem folks…….that I’m the WORST boss that I have ever had!
